


cry

by olympicmayhem



Series: hisoillu as cas titles [3]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, M/M, also still me inserting chrollo in between hisoillu hahaha, because i haven't had enough of hanahaki au, hisoillu, hisoka's version of crush, non-betaed, onesided hisokuro, still me giving cigarettes after sex title songs to hisoillu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-21 08:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30018885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olympicmayhem/pseuds/olympicmayhem
Summary: when illumi zoldyck performed the kill right in front of him hisoka knew he was entranced. the grace, the power with which he killed; hisoka has never seen anything like it. he kept pursuing the assassin for years to follow; taunting, begging him for a fight.illumi never budged. but illumi also never pushed him away.and so hisoka continued to pursue him like a lovesick puppy.
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck, Hisoka/Kuroro Lucifer | Chrollo Lucifer
Series: hisoillu as cas titles [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2208381
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	cry

**Author's Note:**

> if you haven't read my other fic crush, then you may also read that as this is hisoka's version of that story :) 
> 
> enjoy!!

hisoka morow has heard stories of people suffering from coughing out whole flowers. people call it the _hanahaki_ phenomenon and apparently only nen users could acquire it. nobody knows how one is afflicted by it and there is no known cure. the survival rates are less than thirty percent.

but hisoka paid it no mind. to him it was but a simple myth. what use is this information in the art of fighting? all hisoka morrow cared about was finding the strongest people out there and crushing them. he has no need to concern himself with the phenomenon so he merely filed the information away with no intention of peeping them again.

and then illumi zoldyck came in like a storm.

he can still remember clearly the first time they met. the assassin was only twelve, assigned to kill some big hotshot in glam gas land. he was sixteen, having just left moritonio’s troupe after killing the man.

when illumi zoldyck performed the kill right in front of him hisoka knew he was entranced. the grace, the power with which he killed; hisoka has never seen anything like it. he kept pursuing the assassin for years to follow; taunting, begging him for a fight.

illumi never budged. but illumi also never pushed him away.

and so hisoka continued to pursue him like a lovesick puppy.

and then he met chrollo lucilfer during one of illumi’s missions in meteor city (on that he most certainly wasn’t invited) and desire flared up inside of him like never before. merely standing in his presence makes hisoka’s body tingle all over. nobody, not even illumi, has made him feel this way. he just has to have chrollo lucilfer. this, hisoka thinks, is certainly the person he has been waiting for his entire life.

he would either kill chrollo lucilfer or die by his hands. hisoka isn’t going to have it any other way.

he decided to discard his porcelain doll in favor of the unreachable treasure.

he bugged illumi again but this time instead of asking him for a fight, he wanted information about the infamous spider group from meteor city. but for some reason illumi didn’t want to share the information with him.

it irked him but hisoka is a patient man; he was used to waiting to get what he wants. he would coax the information out of the tight-lipped assassin one way or another, seduce him if he has to.

many months after his fateful meeting with the spider’s leader illumi gives in. the answers he sought were given in hushed whispers between kisses inside a hotel room in york new. hisoka couldn’t help the upward tilt of his lips as he continues his attacks on illumi’s skin.

the following morning he boards a flight to heaven’s arena to reach the top, sure that reaching floor two hundred in less than a week would be just the feat to impress chrollo lucilfer.

it wasn’t hard for hisoka. all his adversaries weren’t strong; they didn’t even provide much entertainment. he rose up to the 200th floor in no time and on one match he was even visited by the then twenty-two years old illumi zoldyck.

“well this is a pleasant surprise,” hisoka greeted, lips curling into that familiar smile. illumi stood leaning on the wall, arms crossed on his chest, that dark gaze that never quite fails to send shivers down hisoka’s back boring holes into him.

“are you here only to impress chrollo?”

ah. direct to the point as always. hisoka’s smile stretched further.

“if you truly want his attention,” illumi starts again, “then you will have to kill one of them.”

illumi rummaged inside his pockets for something before throwing it to hisoka. he caught it without a problem, sparing it a glance. it was a photo, he realized. a photo of someone with long gray hair. behind the photo are details: a name, and the type of nen.

the magician raised one perfect brow before tucking the photo away.

“giving me free tips after all those times you coveted the information from me? how sweet, lulu~”

illumi scowled at the nickname before he turned his back on him.

“you must know that that information isn’t for free. i may need your help some day.”

and with that he was gone.

the fight with the spider named omokage was one of the best he’s had in months, maybe even years. of course in the end, he was crowned victorious and was given a spot in the troupe by none other than chrollo lucilfer himself.

however, no matter how much hisoka tried, the spider head would always find a way to slip from his hold. it made him frustrated. how much longer does chrollo plan to prolong their little game of tag before he gives up and gives hisoka his fight?

he finds himself calling illumi more often, and to his surprise, illumi would answer his every summon. their days were spent talking, nights in bed or any hard surface they find themselves in. and while illumi’s company isn’t boring, he just isn’t the man he’s looking for.

he wanted chrollo lucilfer, not illumi zoldyck.

he thought his chance had finally come during that auction in york new. he had even teamed up with kurapika kurta just to get what he wants. but once again chrollo found a way to weasel out him; by having his nen sealed by the kurta himself.

hisoka had come to illumi that night, dissatisfied with the outcome. illumi had only looked at him with those big dark eyes of his as he continued to drown his frustrations with vodka.

“why don’t you just give up? it’s not like you’d win against him anyway.” illumi told him after awhile and hisoka frowned. he trained golden eyes at the assassin before deciding to reply.

“are you insinuating that i’m weak, illu?”

“no. merely stating that chrollo is out of your league.”

his frown became more pronounced before deciding to ignore illumi.

that night (or morning? hisoka couldn’t remember) after drunkenly stumbling into the soft mattress of his hotel room with illumi’s help, hisoka could swear he could hear the murmur of “why couldn’t you just focus on me once more?” but he couldn’t be sure he heard correctly.

several months after his trip to greed island in search for someone to help chrollo remove the seal the blond kurta placed on him, he found himself back in his suite in heaven’s arena with illumi zoldyck pinned against him, his dark eyes blazing with lust.

at the back of his mind hisoka felt pride knowing that he was the only man who can reduce illumi zoldyck to this moaning mess underneath him. he teased and bit and all illumi could do was _plead_. it was enough to satiate his ego.

with one more thrust he filled illumi’s insides. he buried his face at the crook of the assassin’s neck, his breath tickling the white skin. and then he pulled away and fell right beside the assassin, sweat making his entire body glisten.

he felt the bed move as illumi stood up to use his bathroom. he waited for illumi with closed eyes, an arm resting on top of his forehead. somewhere at the back of his mind he wondered how different his day would be if he was with chrollo.

would chrollo make the same reactions as illumi? would his moans sound as good as illumi’s? maybe it would be even better. he can imagine chrollo underneath him as he moaned his name, his usually pale face flushed pink.

hisoka groaned with need. not a day goes by when he hasn’t thought of the spider head. maybe another round with illumi ought to keep him satisfied. what was taking him so long anyway?

“illu?” he called out, a little impatient.

he heard movement inside the bathroom and a couple of moments later, the assassin stepped out with a towel wrapped around his waist. he took his time to admire the assassin’s perfectly toned body, the red marks so visible against skin of milky white. he couldn’t help the satisfied smirk that crosses his lips.

illumi truly was a sight to behold.

he patted the space beside him, silently telling the other that he wants to do it again. _because chrollo isn’t here and you are._

but instead of going back to the mattress, the assassin bent over and started picking up the discarded clothing that littered hisoka’s floor. magician’s brows knit, his lips jutting out a little.

“are you leaving already?” he asked.

“yes. something urgent came up. i need to go home.”

hisoka stared at his ceiling for awhile. he knew illumi was lying. there was no way he could take a call when he was in the bathroom with his phone inside his jeans pocket. but hisoka chose not to comment. instead he continued to stare at the ceiling as words formed in his mouth.

“you’re no fun.”

“if you wanted fun then you should’ve called chrollo instead.”

hisoka closed his eyes once again, picturing chrollo in his bed, body pressed against his. he smiled.

“that’s true. chrollo is a lot more fun. it’s a shame he keeps running away from me.”

“you know, most people would get the hint by now.”

his grin grew wider.

“well i’m not like most people. one way or another, chrollo will be mine.”

illumi was silent as he fixes his top. hisoka opened one golden eye and watched him carefully. the assassin fixed him with a gaze.

“i’ll leave you then. bye.”

long after illumi left, hisoka finally got up. if illumi was unable to help him, then he will just have to find some unlucky person to fight.

the search for chrollo was proving to be fruitless. each lead he could get his hands on only leads him to dead ends. each time he decides to bug machi with a text, the female would just ignore him. illumi had been pretty unreachable as well. he hasn’t heard from the assassin since he stepped out of his suite weeks ago.

he assumed that the assassin had been pretty busy with work. after all, he was the only zoldyck sibling his parents could currently count on. he has to admit he misses the assassin’s presence. he was a nice distraction, and even a nicer bed partner (until he gets chrollo, that is).

as he lay in bed bored out of his mind, he decides to shoot illumi another text message. maybe this time he would finally receive a reply.

 _are you in town? i'm bored_ ⭐ _-_-_ 💧

his phone buzzes not even five minutes later beside him. the screen lights up, illuminating the message from illumi: _i’ll be there after i clean up._

his eyes light up as he pushes himself off the king-sized mattress. illumi finally graces him with his appearance after weeks of being mia.

that evening as illumi lies flushed beneath him, teeth digging into lis bottom lip, hisoka couldn’t help but imagine that it was chrollo underneath him, moaning his name in ecstasy. heavy lids shut as he reaches his climax. the image of the troupe’s leader became vivid in his mind and he murmured the name into his ear.

 _damn chrollo and his game of hide and seek,_ hisoka thinks. _damn him for making me want him even without him here._

illumi was still beneath him but he couldn’t care for now, too focused on the image of chrollo in his mind to pay the assassin any attention.

looking back on it, hisoka should have paid him more attention then. it still is one of the biggest regrets of his life.

illumi disappeared on him again. this time it took several months before their paths crossed again, that night in york new.

he was once again following a lead that went cold and hisoka was losing what patience he had left in his body. he was just about to call it a night when he felt the familiar aura of one illumi zoldyck and so he followed that menacing aura down a rundown alley.

those golden eyes watch as illumi performed the kill with easy grace, the way he did all those years ago when he was just a nobody and illumi was just entering his teenage years. the memory brought a smile to his face.

illumi slowly turned around and hisoka’s immediate thought was something was wrong. he didn’t know what, but something was not right with illumi.

“i didn’t think you’d be here.”

hisoka stepped closer, eyes never leaving illumi.

“i had a lead here but it went cold. that was when i noticed you. perfect kill as always, illu~”

illumi only gave him a nod, before turning his attention towards the corpse lying on the dirty ground. before he could even think what he was saying, he had already asked: “you in the mood for a talk?”

he led the assassin towards a skyscraper, the very same one he stood on watching the spiders wreak havoc that night under chrollo’s orders.

he was seated with illumi standing beside him. he rambled on about chrollo (the only topic he could think off the top of his head) while the assassin remained silent beside him and while this was usually the case, illumi looked like he wanted to vomit. hisoka frowned. something was really wrong with illumi. he stopped the tirade and instead asked illumi if he was okay.

the assassin opened his mouth to reply but instead of words, a single daffodil was coughed out. the magician’s eyes widened and before he knew it, he was already up. he remembered what he heard all those years ago: of the _hanahaki_ phenomenon and how it affected nen users; about its low survival rate. _about how it was supposed to be nothing but a myth._

but here was illumi zoldyck, with a single daffodil in hand.

“illu,” he started, voice laced with worry and a sense of urgency, “are you…?”

the assassin was quick to shake his head, that facade of his never breaking (the only time he has seen him break that facade, hisoka realizes, was when he threatened killua). he waited for an explanation.

“i was merely teaching myself magic tricks.”

hisoka arches a brow at this. of all the excuses, was that the best illumi could think of?

“magic?”

“yes. magic. spending time with you made me grow an interest in it. what do you think?”

 _bullshit,_ he thinks. illumi had to know that that was the weakest lie he had ever heard from him. he offered the flower to hisoka and he took it, golden gaze focusing on the flower. if illumi truly was suffering from hanahaki, then did that mean that he was dying?

impossible. it was illumi zoldyck. he will not be felled by something as trivial as coughing up _flowers_. didn’t the zoldycks train for every poison? hisoka could not lose a toy. not until he had gained all of the benefits. he was still not done using illumi.

he could feel the assassin’s gaze on him as he crushed the flower in his hand, sending the petals flying in the wind. that onyx gaze followed the petals’ path as hisoka stared at him.

“what are you thinking?”

at the question, illumi turned his gaze back on him and he was surprised to find emotion in those usually emotionless orbs of his. he didn’t think he would ever see illumi look so lonely.

his next words only served to break something inside him.

“i have come to the realization that when i die, nobody would mourn for me. not my family. and not you.”

he received a message from killua zoldyck two weeks after their last conversation. illumi zoldyck had succumbed to hanahaki. he would be buried inside the family residence in kukuroo mountain.

at first he could not believe his eyes as he read and reread the message. there was no way illumi would leave him just like that. but he remembers their last conversation; the look in illumi’s eyes.

he stands in front of the simple gravestone, a dull marker for an extraordinary man.

hisoka morow never once mourned the death of a person, not even when his own parents died all those years ago. he had come to accept death as a part of life.

but even he could not prevent the breaking of his own heart as he continued to stare down at the grave of one illumi zoldyck.

he knelt down and placed the bouquet of pink daffodils onto the ground. lips curve into a small smile as his fingers touch the engraving, spelling out his fallen doll’s name.

“how unfair, illu. you said nobody would mourn for you; that even i would not mourn for you. then why are you making me feel this way?”

three weeks after he lost illumi, hisoka coughed up his first petal.

**Author's Note:**

> told myself i should drop this but noooooooo. this story wanted to be written. so here you go.
> 
> i'm afraid it ended up even worse than crush though. sorry ;;


End file.
